Anthony Michael Hall karma
Journal Entry: Fri Mar 7, 2008, 8:12 AM
Great, it happened again. Admittedly, this time it was in a bizarre In-Character/Out-Of-Character context, but the message was still the same: "You're great, but I was REALLY hoping for _______...but that doesn't we still can't do stuff together!" This is the third time in as many weeks online that I've been shoved face-first into the realization that I'm "the Next Best Thing," that I've been settled for until what they really want comes along. Just like my ex-marriage, just like EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP I have EVER been in in my life, I'm ultimately just a placeholder, not Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now.
Is it too much to ask to be someone's FIRST choice?
Actually, strike that, I am a couple folks' first choice...lucky me, they're bisexual men and I'm straight. HELL, I'm a diagnosed mysandronist! I hate and fear men, why the FUCK would people think I want to DATE men? I don't even like looking at MYSELF naked...
I feel like the Anthony Michael Hall character in the John Hughes movie of life, destined to be standing at the sidelines, giving people I want the thumbs up and friendly hugs as they go off with who they were REALLY after. I'm Ducky, fer crissakes (And yes, I KNOW Ducky was played by Jon Cryer, but, let's face it, the only reason was because Hall couldn't sing)...
And don't go throwing "Weird Science" in my face, either. They created a girl on their Commodore 64s; if THAT'S the lengths I'm gonna have to go to in order to find someone who actually wants to be with me, then fuck it, I'm joining a monestary.
- Mood:
Shitty