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Arguably the worst part of having a meltdown like that and not following through is having to face up to people afterwards...compared to the alternative, though...
This was the worst breakdown I've had in years, since going off the Cymbalta back in 2011. At least this time, I can say that, since I'm now forced by federal law to shell out over a hundred monthly (could be worse...original estimates were almost $400) for medical insurance, I can find a real therapist and not that horrible place I went to before, which I intend to do. I know none of you believe my intent this time, but...it was bad, and I don't want it to happen again.
Anyway...sorry. I'll try not to bother you all again.
This was the worst breakdown I've had in years, since going off the Cymbalta back in 2011. At least this time, I can say that, since I'm now forced by federal law to shell out over a hundred monthly (could be worse...original estimates were almost $400) for medical insurance, I can find a real therapist and not that horrible place I went to before, which I intend to do. I know none of you believe my intent this time, but...it was bad, and I don't want it to happen again.
Anyway...sorry. I'll try not to bother you all again.
...oh, so THAT'S how you do this now...
Sorry it's been so long. Like an idiot, it actually took me this long to figure out how you enter journals now. I'm still here. Saying 2020 is tough is like saying water is wet these days, but between my dad's cancer returning, my mom's Alzheimer's, barely seeing my son anymore, realizing I've been divorced almost exactly twice as long as I was married and have no one to end that streak, and my student loans going into default less than 9 units away from getting at least an Associate's Degree and the realization that, at 47, my life situation is likely NEVER going to improve...well, it finally caught up to 2019 in the shittiness factor about July. I am still here, though. I don't wanna be. Every day is like a struggle to breathe sometimes. Even the last handful of friends I had have been leaving. But I promised someone I, in her words, "would never take a knee," and I haven't yet. I don't know why I keep going. I don't want to anymore. But I still do. Gods help me, I still do.
Like Groundhog's Day, but sad and pathetic
Heya...sorry I haven't been around, I've been in a really bad place in my head the past few months and I didn't want to subject all of you to it. Between all my financial problems, schooling problems, fucking CAR problems, and the crippling depression over losing the only actual human contact I ever have IRL not involving work, my son, as he gets ready to go away to college, I basically spent the past few months curled up in my covers watching YouTube and streaming video. I...hesitate to say I'm doing better by actually poking my head out again, since I'm not, but I don't want to lose what few online friends I have because I'm a neurotic twat
Still Kicking
Sorry I haven't been here for a while, 2018 has been kicking my ass financially...basically, after not getting a raise at my job for just over a decade, my expenses have finally eclipsed my income, and given the non-existent job market out here (seriously, my ex works at the job placement center and she hasn't even been able to find anything for her roommate), I need to seriously look into supplementing my current income in some way. I already opened a Ko-Fi thingy that I haven't posted anywhere yet mainly out of misplaced pride, but what I really need to do is finally stop fiddle-farting around (old saying of my parents', seems apropos) and
OC thing stolen from a Tumblr I follow
Give me the name of one of my OCs and I'll try to answer these questions about them as best as I can:
01. Full name:02. Best friend:03. Sexuality:04. Favorite color:05. Relationship status:06. Ideal mate:07. Turn-ons:08. Favorite food:09. Crushes:10. Favorite music:11. Biggest fear:12. Biggest fantasy:13. Bad habits:14. Biggest regret:15. Best kept secrets:16. Last thought:17. Worst romantic experience:18. Biggest insecurity:19. Weapon of choice:20. Role Model:
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It can hit hard, that's totally understandable. I'm glad you're okay and are looking for a therapist. Best of luck to you, man! And, as always, I'm here if you need to chat 